Here’s to the mom that barely makes it on time to school drop off. Here’s to the mom who sleeps in while her kids eat cereal for breakfast. Here’s to the mom who is up at the crack of dawn so her kids can have homemade pancakes and muffins on a Wednesday morning before school. And here's also to the mom that never gets to see her kids off in the morning, because her workday starts way before they rise. Mothers are incredible - it’s like your body flips a switch the day your baby is born and all of your hero qualities begin to show. No matter the type of mom you are…stay-at-home or working, morning person or night owl…you are amazing.
Sadly, despite all of the audacious qualities we moms possess…we are often overcome with a sense of guilt. We constantly compare ourselves to other moms, we feel like we cannot do it all and then somehow that means we have failed. We cry in the shower when we are finally alone and we crumble under the stress of trying to teach young kids how to be perfect little humans! And that is just the tip of the iceberg! How easy we can get caught up in the race to the top. What we don’t realize is that there is another mom out there who is constantly comparing herself to each and every one of us. It is time to make a change.
Being a mom is tough, battling all of the “mom guilt” you feel makes this already tiresome job more trying…it's time to get rid of the guilt. Mom guilt isn’t necessary or helpful, and it is slowly eating away at your confidence. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other moms, sometimes even our own best friends. We lose our temper, we feel guilty. We miss a school function, we feel culpable. We pick up fast food instead of making a homemade meal, we feel shameful. We ultimately think the mom next door is perfect and therein lies the gateway for the guilt to take over. It is time to stop that negative thinking.
Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever have, whether you are home with your children or running a multimillion dollar company by day. But believing in yourself is the first step in feeling like you have every right to drape that cape around your shoulders…because no matter what, you are a supermom!
So How do we Overcome This Guilt?
First and foremost, show some self-compassion, we care about and forgive everyone else, why not ourselves? The antidote to shame is empathy and grace; when you are being harsh on yourself, take a step back and focus on all your positive qualities…believe me there are SO many!
While you are at it, stop those negative feelings and disappointing comparisons. Challenge your negative beliefs by asking yourself if there is actually evidence to support them. When you find that there is not, you can begin to reframe this into a positive situation. Eventually this becomes your catalyst for a more realistic perspective.
And as for comparison…that is the work of the devil. Sure you may have a mom friend who is a crafting connoisseur and one whose talent in the kitchen can challenge Gordon Ramsey…but just remember there is something special about you that these other women long for just as well.
Lastly, never forget about self care…even Superwoman has to take care of herself first. We are nothing if we are not at the top of our game. When you prioritize self care you are present and patient. You cannot be everything to everyone if you are unrecognizable to yourself. Find what self care means to you and make sure to work it into your crazy mom schedule each week at the very least. Once you adopt and maintain one self care ritual, I urge you to add more to your weekly routine. You can thank me later!
So to all of the supermoms out there…you are incredible, you are remarkable, you are sublime. You take on the world every morning…whatever you juggle on any given day, you do it with poise, elegance and perhaps sometimes a little bit of cursing and yelling! Hey, no one said this was easy! Don’t sell yourself short mom friend, from one mom to another…no one will ever know how truly difficult but rewarding this crazy mom life is!
By Melanie Akerberg
People Happiness Manager (and Mom)
Bliss Virtual Services